How did I go from being a straight teenager to giving and receiving a blowjob from a stranger in a community center bathroom? Well, read on. If Craigslist was around, I certainly didn’t know about it.įor me, that meant getting my jollies out the old fashioned way: via AOL chatrooms. Virtual meeting rooms where folks came together to chat about a variety of topics. There were chatrooms for just about everything, but the most popular ones had to do with sex and porn. People would meet up online, engage in cybersex, organize sex dates, or trade pornographic pictures and videos. I’d go to a chatroom, chat with some strangers, and end up trading pictures with them. Every time I logged on to AOL, I’d hear the iconic “You’ve got mail” and open up my inbox to a plethora of porn.
You know, your typical straight dude porn. Then one day, I opened up a file named hotstud.jpg.Ī hot stud indeed, letting it all hang out. Big muscles, a nice tan, and a huge hard cock. I quickly went to close the file, but then I hesitated. My eyes wandered to his cock, and I got turned on. Related Podcast Episode: Cultivating Your Pleasure Terrified that I might be gay But getting turned on by a picture of a naked dude? I had a hard time swallowing that (pun very much intended). I lost my virginity to a girl at a party when I was 15 years old. My dad picked me up after, and I was sure he could smell sex on me.īy the time I saw hotstud.jpg, I’d had two girlfriends so in my mind, I was straight.
I didn’t have a concept of sexuality at that point, but I knew that being gay was going to fuck things up for me. I didn’t know how people close to me would react. Making friends at school was already challenging for me. I was the kid getting pushed into lockers, made fun of, and someone once threw me in a trashcan, ass first. To say I didn’t entirely fit in is an understatement. Would I be tormented more than I already was? I came from a loving family but would my parents still accept me? Was it time to kiss my dream of having a wife and kids goodbye?
I didn’t know what to think or how to proceed.
Women always turned me on, and up until now, I’d only ever wanted a girlfriend. I didn’t want to be turned on by images of naked men. Related Podcast Episode: Exploring Sexual Intimacy But I never deleted those images Remember, this is 16-year-old me talking. I started spending more time in chat rooms talking to guys. My collection grew until I had a pretty decent folder and was routinely masturbating to these images.